Tag Archives: kindness

Asking your kids the right questions

Here is a long, but interesting article in the Atlantic, “Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids“.

In it the authors, Adam Grant & Allison Sweet Grant, say:

To demonstrate that caring is a core value, we realized that we needed to give it comparable attention. We started by changing our questions. At our family dinners, we now ask our children what they did to help others. At first, “I forget” was the default reply. But after a while, they started giving more thoughtful answers. “I shared my snack with a friend who didn’t have one,” for example, or “I helped a classmate understand a question she got wrong on a quiz.” They had begun actively looking for opportunities to be helpful, and acting upon them.

This reminds me of a post I wrote 11 and a half years ago when my kids were 6 and 8, “Who have you help today?”

I used to ask my kids, “what was your favourite part of the day”, then I added “Who did you help today?” And as I mentioned in the post reflection:

It was only a matter of weeks before my oldest daughter’s ‘favorite part of the day’ was also the answer to ‘who did you help today’.

A question like this is so much more powerful than, ‘What did you do at school today?’, or ‘What did you get on your test?’, or ‘Did you have fun?’ Simply asking the question, “Who did you help today?” tells a kid what you value.

Super Powers

When I was younger, I wanted to be Spider-Man. He was the superhero I most connected to because he was a ‘normal’ kid that gained super powers. Unlike Superman, born on another planet, Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and was thus transformed from normal to super human.

I think that was what I was most attracted to: I couldn’t become Superman, but I could become Spider-Man.

In reality, we all have superpowers.

We have the ability to be kind, make someone’s day, change people’s minds, help people learn, and even change their luck.

We can equally use our superpowers for evil.

How will you use your superpowers?

Words hurt more than you’ll ever know.

I’ve been pretty quiet on the topic of our loss of Amanda Todd. Mostly because things in the media are so polarized and everything about this story is complex, with interwoven issues that get lost in sensationalism.

But this is a beautiful song, inspired by a beautiful young spirit, whom we lost at too young of an age.

Words hurt more than you’ll ever know. Be kind, and when others are not kind, be brave and speak up.

 

Comment of the Day!

I’m reading over report cards and came across this comment:

“With a strong moral compass, he frequently does the ‘right’ thing and encourages others to do the same.”


What a wonderful thing to say about someone! It tells me a whole lot more about the kid than any letter grade ever could.