Tag Archives: gifted

Your ‘B’ Game

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You can’t always bring your A game to everything. This is something we try to teach kids with a perfectionist streak. We run scrum projects where we give a clear ‘definition of done’. We encourage them to choose where best to focus their perfectionism, because trying to be perfect everywhere is debilitating, and students tend to get overwhelmed and not get everything done.

This is an aspect of the gifted student profile that can be both a superpower and also the Kryptonite that weakens the student. Perfectionism can be the thing that makes a student produce exceptional work, and it can be the reason they give up, or end up handing something in late, because while the project or assignment is good (even very good), it isn’t meeting a high or previous standard already achieved and so it’s just not good enough to complete, or sometimes even to try.

And so sometimes you need to teach kids to bring their ‘B’ game. Show us what you’ve got right now, because it’s probably good enough. Let’s see it? Great, you’ve met the outcomes, let’s move on. No, it’s not your best work, yes, if you put more hours into it, it could get a higher mark. If you want to improve it later… and if you have time… then go ahead, but why don’t we just focus on the next assignment now, and not fall behind again.

It sounds like easy advice to give, but to a perfectionist kid, this is hard work. What’s even harder though is expecting that you can bring your ‘A’ game to everything you do. Because this isn’t just debilitating as a student, it’s hard as an adult too.

When you’ve got more tasks on your ‘to do’ list than you can achieve; when email seems insurmountable; when meetings fill your schedule; and when getting one task done is taking time away from two or more other tasks, well then bringing your ‘A’ game is impossible. Sometimes you have to just embrace you ‘B’ game and give everything you do just enough to get it done… and save your ‘A’ game only for things that really matter.

Different kinds of smart

Some of the smartest people I know didn’t do well in school. Two in particular got into trades are are both very successful and run their own business. Both have more saved for their retirement than I ever will. Both have a common sense intelligence that is superior to mine.

I have a sister who is street smart. I’d say she’s also people smart. She can read a situation and read people better than others can read a book. She builds strong friendships with people who will do anything for her, because they know she’d do the same for them. Lucky things happen to her because she creates her own luck, with no expectations of an outcome. Some people do a kindness expecting praise or accolades, she just wants to do good, and good things happen to her as a result.

Have you ever meet someone that your pet was drawn to? They share a bond with animals that seems effortless. I’m not just talking about someone who goes out of their way to connect with an animal, but rather someone who the animal reaches out to. They seem to communicate with animals nonverbally.

There are many forms of giftedness. Many natural talents that can be fostered and developed. Sometimes it seems connected to a disposition, a positive outlook. Other times it can be intuitive, a knowledge that seems unlearned yet fully acquired. And still other times it can be connected to perspective, and seeing things from points of view that others miss. Some of this can be honed and learned, and some of it just seems to be a natural intelligence.

None of these kind of smarts limit someone from being a good student. But sometimes intuitively or creatively smart people don’t do well in school. We need to recognize peoples gifts independently from their grades. We need to recognize that there are different kinds of smart.

Vlad

The gift, a framed metal butterfly. A symbol of transformation. It came to my wife and I at the end of Vlad’s Grade 8 year. My wife, Ann (Kirkhope) Truss, had him in her class for Grades 6 and 7, I had him in my class for Grade 8. As you can see by his letter, Vlad is a very gifted young man. That giftedness comes with challenges in a traditional school model.

It’s not our job to make a kid like this fit the system, it’s our job to make the system work for a kid like this… While still teaching important (life and social) skills that hopefully aid students like Vlad in their future. Because a kid like this isn’t learning content from you, that comes too easy to them. They aren’t going to ask you typical clarifying questions, but they will challenge your knowledge on a topic, they will ask extension questions that go well beyond the learning outcomes, they will get bored waiting for others to learn.

I’ve had a few Thank You’s from students over the years, my wife gets a lot more than I do. For both of us, this Thank You fits into a category all on its own. Enjoy!

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We get many different versions of Vlad’s in our classrooms. Each one unique, without a recipe for how best to connect and support them. Sometimes, we get it right.

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* I have a very funny story about Vlad, and another gifted student in the same class, whom I met for coffee with about 3 months after they left grade 8… I’ll save that one for another day.