Tag Archives: attitude

Interrupting a Pattern

Recently, traffic has been getting to me. I know this because I speak out loud to the other drivers, in my car, with my windows rolled up. No chance of them hearing me, thankfully because I’m not being kind.

I didn’t notice my uptake of nasty remarks, my daughter did. “Dad, what’s with you? Chill.”

This reminded me of an event that happened about 25 years ago. I was driving my girlfriend’s car, she was in the passenger seat, and there was construction ahead. I was in the right lane, which was closing, and the cars started to ‘zipper’ into one lane, a car from the other lane followed by a car in my lane, back and forth.

As I approached the end of my lane it became obvious that the driver that should have let me zip in front of him was not going to participate in the established pattern. He kept his front bumper less than an arm’s length from the back bumper of the car in front of him, moving quickly as the car in front moved.

‘What a jerk’, my girlfriend said. She might have used an expletive, and her tone was upset.

I let him ahead of me, not that I really had a choice. And a few feet further we came to a stop due to the construction. At this point, I saw his eyes in the rear view mirror. I waved, gave him a thumbs up with a huge smile, and I dramatically mouthed the words, ‘Thank you’!

He stared at me through the rear view mirror, I repeated: wave, smile, ‘Thank you’. A little further down the road, I saw him look again, I repeated. He rolled down his window and flipped up his middle finger angrily. We laughed, I repeated: wave, smile, ‘Thank you’.

We got through the the construction and as luck would have it, I caught up to him in the reopened right lane. I looked at him through my window, smiling and waving. He clearly said a profanity and gave me a passenger-side middle finger. He was literally steaming red, his face and neck completely flushed. We laughed.

Then he beeped his horn a couple times as he moved ahead and switched into the left turn lane, sticking his left hand out of the car window in a repeated middle finger gesture. I couldn’t hear him, but it looked like he was yelling, and I’m pretty sure what he was saying wasn’t polite.

We laughed, and laughed.

I’ll openly admit that killing him with kindness was not a kind thing to do. We were having a wonderful time, fully at his expense. But it was a valuable lesson for me about how our disposition towards an event can change our experience. My girlfriend and I had a wonderful time laughing at a traffic incident that usually caused us upset.

Now, I don’t want to go around causing others to be upset, but I do need to breath and rethink how I’m coping with traffic. Hopefully my family members won’t be needing to tell me to ‘chill’ again any time soon because I’m throwing nasty commentary towards other drivers.

Here comes the rain again…

Do you remember the song by Annie Lennox?

“Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion.”

I’m camping and the forecast for later tonight is for heavy rains. (I’m actually writing this the night before publishing it, so technically I’m talking about last night.) Usually I’ve got tarps perfectly set up to ensure we stay dry, but this site had limited options for tying up the tarps and I’m uncertain how well my set up will hold up to heavy rains. The morning will be damp, but how damp we will have to wait and see!

That said, we live on the wet, west coast of BC, and being on the edge of a rainforest, we are no strangers to rain.

Isn’t it interesting how our perspective on something like rain can be so dependent on our situation. Think of how this can affect our thoughts and actions?

A drizzle of rain can be insignificant on most days, but not at an outdoor wedding.

A short downpour of rain is insignificant in your car, but not so much fun on your bicycle commute to work.

A 75 millimetre downpour of rain at night is insignificant at home, but a much bigger concern in a tent when you haven’t done a good job with your tarps.

However, in the grand scheme of things, we are just talking about getting wet. Be it a sprinkle or drenching, we can get dry again quickly.

So, we have a choice to let the weather dictate our thoughts and actions, or we can recognize that getting wet is not that big of a deal. Either way, here comes the rain again…

What do you see?

When you say that you like nature, do you like viruses, cancer, and decay?

When you say that you enjoy the city, do you enjoy traffic, higher crime rates, and sewage systems?

When you say that you love someone, do you love their idiosyncrasies, failings, and character flaws?

When you say that you are interested in something or someone, what do you see? What do you choose to overlook?

When something or someone bugs you, how much does your disposition affect what you see?

Someone just took the last piece of a cake… are you pissed off that you didn’t get it, or genuinely happy for the friend that did get it? How much does a small decision like that affect your mood? Or your attitude towards your friend? Or your overall happiness in the next hour?

You have incredible power to decide what you see, and to create a universe in your mind based on these decisions.

What are you choosing to see, and what kind of life are you living thanks to these choices?

Beyond Good ~ Seth’s Blog: Moving beyond teachers and bosses

We train kids to deal with teachers in a certain way: Find out what they want, and do that, just barely, because there are other things to work on. Figure out how to say back exactly what they want to hear, with the least amount of effort, and you are a ‘good student.’

We train employees to deal with bosses in a certain way: Find out what they want, and do that, just barely, because there are other things to do. Figure out how to do exactly what they want, with the least amount of effort, and the last risk of failure and you are a ‘good worker.’

via sethgodin.typepad.com

Good enough is not good enough!

So many things about the structure of our schools today promote this… promote the next generation of worker bees who drone on and do ‘what needs to be done’ instead of ‘what’s possible’.

How do we UN-standardize our schools?

It starts with the smallest of points…
“A paragraph ‘needs’ to have 5 sentences.”
… Which produces a class full of mediocre 5 sentence paragraphs.

To the biggest of points…
“I can’t“
… Whether this is a response from a teacher or a student.

As Seth says at the end of his post: “The opportunity of our age is to get out of this boss as teacher as taskmaster as limiter mindset…”

What are our students capable of if we foster their creativity and get tests and curriculum and scheduled blocks and ‘busywork due the next day’ out of the way?

How do we move beyond educators as taskmasters?

Good enough is not good enough!