I heard this on the Daily Jay, with Jay Shetty, on the Calm app this morning:
“Complaining is like chewing the same bite of food long after it has lost its taste. You’re just expending energy, for no positive purpose.”
Have you ever noticed that complaints live in your head far longer than you spend sharing them?
There is the initial thought that brews in your mind, percolating and flooding your mind with frustration. Then the complaint pours out of you, and you want to share every detail, fill other people’s cup with your bitter tasting brew. Then it chills down in your brain, but not immediately, it takes a while for the steam to be released, and your thoughts remain on your cup full of objection and protest.
“I can’t believe what she said.”
“The nerve of him thinking he could get away with doing that.”
“The worst service I’ve ever dealt with.”
The moment is gone, but the complaint lingers. With an opportunity to share it again later, the full emotional turmoil reruns.
“That was so upsetting!”
It was upsetting, or it is upsetting? Did it happen again? The verbal complaint makes it feels so.
What is it that the person who upset you the most deserves? Do they deserve your future attention, energy, and time complaining? Do you deserve to relive and retell, and expend time and energy on them?
If you’ve truly been wronged, do something about it and feel good about standing up for yourself. But if you’ve been annoyed and the moment is gone, let it be gone, because ‘I could have…’ or ‘I should have…’ didn’t happen, and complaints are nothing but wasted energy brewing in your mind, and also in the minds of those you complain to. And neither you nor they need to spend time sipping that bitter brew.
