It has been several years since I’ve left my beard for over a week, and now that I have done so, I’m a little surprised by how much grey I see. My beard used to be mostly pepper with a hint of salt, but now the salt has really taken over.

For years now, a passing conversation with my mother-in-law has stuck with me. She was only a few years older than I am now when she shared the following. She said, (and I paraphrase because this was over 25 years ago), ‘You’ll see. You’ll get to my age and you won’t feel old. Your mind will still tell you that you are young, but then you look in the mirror and you see an old you looking back.’

She didn’t say it lightheartedly, but rather with a hint of duress, which is probably what made me remember the conversation. It comes back to me more frequently as I age, and especially when I have moments like this, looking in a mirror and seeing so much grey in my beard. These are ‘where did the time go?’ kind of moments.

And then I shift my thinking. I realize that a lot of time has indeed passed. I see my grown, adult kids and recognize that they too have moments like this, where they wonder how they got to be as old as they are. I see what I’ve built around me with my career, my family, and my friends. I see the commitment I’ve made to care for myself, to dedicate time to writing and to my health… this all takes time. And while I can’t stay young forever, I can continue to feel young.

The grey has come. It will spread. Wrinkle lines will deepen. Reflexes will slow. But I will not yield to these things. I will not accept them as signs that I’m old. No, instead I will work hard to slow the decline in ways I have the power to, and I’ll accept the things that age will make inevitable. Let the grey come. If I still have ways to grow, things to learn, places to see, and experiences to have… I’ll still be young at heart and mind.

Let the grey come.