I’ve been doing daily meditation for about a year and a half now. Just 10 minutes in the morning. I used to do it right away, but I found that if I wasn’t done my daily write, that’s what my mind would go to. So now I usually write first. Yet even with this order, I struggle to stay focused for just 10 minutes. My monkey brain can’t stay quiet.

I understand that meditation isn’t about thinking about ‘nothing’. I understand that meditation is a process of ‘returning to my breath’, meaning recognizing that my mind has drifted and recentering it on my breathing. I understand that when I notice I’ve drifted, that I should not attach anger or frustration to this, simply notice and refocus.

Yet, I can have days like yesterday where I barely spent 2 out of 10 minutes focussed on my breath and the rest of the time drifting. I’m not sure I was able to focus on my breath for more than 3 breaths before my mind was on something else. I’m realizing that I’m still just a beginner. I’m wondering what I need to do differently?

I’m aware that I need to let go of my expectations, but I’m also someone that wants and expects results. These opposing goals are not very Zen. They don’t help each other. I have so much still to learn or maybe just to understand… just not sure if my monkey brain is ready?