It’s amazing how much people undermine themselves:
- The dieter with tons of food they shouldn’t eat in the house.
- The person with a deadline watching one, or two, or three more tv show before getting to work.
- The victim of bullying seeking negative attention that makes them an easier target.
- The emotionally struggling person finding friends that needs rescuing and more support than they can healthily give.
- A perfectionist placing such high demands on themselves that they can do nothing well.
- The stressed who relate everything they do to stress, so stress is always on their minds.
Here are two quotes from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits:
You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.
And;
You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
The things we do, and the plans and systems we put in place, and the habits we develop here and now are what determine the outcomes we are heading towards. Part of self-sabotage is looking forward and not believing we can achieve our goals, so why make the effort? The targets are too big, or too far away.
It’s the small thing that you can do today that move you to a bigger goal. Small, repeatable things that become habits. These small things undermine self-sabotage. When you surround yourself with small positive, incremental changes, your trajectory changes, and the people around you notice. Maybe it’s possible that you can help change the trajectory of others around you as well? Undermine self-sabotage by making small positive changes can be contagious.
Here’s one more to reflect on…it may sound judgy…so my apologies.
Don’t be late…ever.
Most have a calendar, either a written daytimer or book agenda style calendar, cell phone calendar or similar at their office or on their home computer.
Just simply and consistently (key) add a reminder for important times and dates or events when you add the actual calendar entry to whatever calendar you a likely using…add the alarm or reminder an hour (or as required, prior) if you have to drive. Fifteen minutes prior will likely do if you can walk.
Just do it.
Be early.
Take advantage of the ten to fifteen minutes you gain in a waiting room or being able to respond to the unexpected (as example) that being early can provide. You might be quite pleasantly surprised of the added value. If even earlier, have a coffee or a nice treat occasionally for being so timely and able to pause, not rush, allowing you to think about your planned meeting or appointment and even plan a little strategy.
Just leave to get their a little early as your additional reminder says to.
Thanks for your usual insight David. You are making a habit of this. I (again), was reflecting on your writing and this started to flow. In addition, I can share with you that I have also had many unexpected great exchanges prior to a scheduled meeting or appointment time. It always surprises me those . are meeting with. Happy day from -25 C and sincere regards to you David, to you all…L.
Great advice Lee!
I have an alarm titled ‘Travel Time’ for when I have meetings outside my building. I’m on time about 90+% of the time, but my job often has priority interruptions that delay me and I don’t have much leeway to arrive too early.
Still, I go through waves where I could do better and your tips are a wonderful reminder!
I like the travel time alarm…smart!