We are only ever fully present when we commit both time and attention to the things we value.

However:

• We struggle with making time for things.
• We struggle with giving things our full attention.

On a personal note: I don’t get too excited by anticipation. For some people, the excitement of planning something is almost as enjoyable as doing the actual thing. That’s not me. I don’t know how to put a value on this? Sometimes I think I’m missing out, other times I think I enjoy experiences more because I haven’t built it up in my head. But leaving anticipation aside, I know that at times I struggle to be fully present.

Sometimes the moment I arrive somewhere, I’m checking the time to know how long I have… I’m putting the present into a time slot. It seems there’s always another event in my calendar to get to. That’s not committing full attention.

Then on the opposite end is when I have a ton of time. Often when this happens I end up squandering much of that ’empty’ time… time that I wish I had when I’m busy; when my ‘To Do’ list is huge.

My writing changes when I give it both time and attention. This is why I’ve started writing at night. At first I needed my writing to fit into a tight timeline. I’d wake up and know that I had a maximum of 45 minutes to write, then get my meditation and workout in before my workday started. But some days I’d draw a blank and need to dip into my almost-ready drafts to fit everything in.

Now I get most of my writing done in the evening and without that hard timeline, I still usually spend less than 45 minutes writing. I think the freedom of no time constraint allows me to devote my full attention to writing.

I am not sure I’m always able to do this in other areas in my life? It isn’t easy to fully commit both time and attention to whatever we do in the present moment, but when we can do that, it is a rewarding experience. Carpe diem.