Tag Archives: inspiration

Shallow understanding… thoughts from MLK Jr.

Monday was Martin Luther King Day in the US. I took the time on Sunday to reread his “Letter From a Birmingham Jail“, and a specific paragraph keeps coming to mind,

“I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.“

The last two sentences chill me,

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.“

I think about how few extremists there are in the world, despite how much media coverage they get. Beyond the news, most people are not exposed to extremists. We are all exposed to moderates. So, in the day to day living of most people, hate is not something we see, however shallow understanding is.

In many places there is tolerance masquerading as acceptance. This to me is what slows down progress. It’s not the wing-nuts on the extremes spewing dogmatism… Although their stance plays a role in allowing others to justify their tolerance as acceptance, since that tolerance can be justified as moderate. But it’s the complacent, shallow, (lukewarm) moderates that hinder genuine acceptance… because this population is huge. This population is blind or ignorant to their own prejudice; this population performs daily interactions that infringe on the true acceptance of ‘others’, without knowing it.

Prejudice sits within all of us. We discern differences with different weights, but we can not pretend we don’t see differences. We can decide what value we put on those differences. We can not pretend the differences don’t exist, or that we don’t see them.

“Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.“

7 Sins, Part 2 – Envy

We start envy at a young age, with envy of possessions. We see another kid with a toy we want and we aren’t happy until we can have it. I can remember fighting over who had more Play Doh with my sister, and it got so heated that my parents brought out a scale to weigh our pieces. After divvying it up, and seeing that it was equal, I no longer wanted to play with it. This bugged me enough that it is still one of my youngest memories. I wanted to just give it all to my sister, but I was too angry. Then afterwards, I felt guilt and shame. It was a valuable lesson, I realized that I cared more about my sister than a stupid piece of Play Doh.

Later, we feel envy about other’s qualities, their popularity, or their looks, or their athletic abilities. They might exude another sin, pride, but we feel envy, wishing we had what they seem to have without effort. If it makes you work harder or appreciate talent, then it is no longer envy, but inspiration. If it spurs jealousy, hate, or bitterness, then envy creates a toxic environment of gossip, slander, and unhealthy interactions with those you are envious of.

Then there is the irrational envy of luck. If you believe luck comes to those that are prepared, then your envy comes from your own sloth. If you believe that luck is dumb, then how dumb are you to envy pure chance?

Envy is ugly, it provides no gain, it ensures only sadness and disappointment. Letting go of envy, can instil generosity, inspiration, and even an openness to favourable opportunities… maybe even luck? When envy strikes you, what can you do to reshape the ugliness into a gift that inspires you to be better, or to wish the other person continued success?

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth

What becomes of us?

What becomes of an idea unshared? Where do interesting and insightful thoughts go to die? Do they collect in a forgotten part of your brain, or do they just fade away? Can ideas be retrieved and revitalized?

What becomes of a ‘Thank You’ unshared? Does the appreciation diminish, or just the showing of gratitude? Might you be less thankful, having not had the opportunity to make that connection with the person or the kind gesture? Is it too late or can you still express your thanks?

What becomes of feelings of love unshared? Might you feel empty, feel unfilled, or feel less loved? Will the connection be as strong later on? Is it worth your trying to share again?

What becomes of your next mistake? Is it the beginning of a failure, or the launching point of a lesson, a new idea, a different approach? Will the mistake define you, or will your resilience strengthen you?

What becomes of missed opportunities? Do they spur you to seize the next moment, or do they convince you that your misfortune will repeat itself again? Can you create a new opportunity, now?

We decide what we become. We decide how to act, how to react, and how we feel about the choices we make. We can become victims of circumstance, or designers of our own reality. Be bold, be brave, believe in yourself.

Changing your world

Some quotes become iconic. They travel through time timelessly, without wavering in meaning or understanding. Such is the case with Margaret Mead on collaboration:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

In storytelling we tend to choose iconic individuals as heroes, but even in the Hero’s Journey the hero relies on helpers and mentors.

This is true whether you are considering Bilbo Baggins, Neo in the Matrix, or Harry Potter, but when we tell ‘real’ stories we tend to focus on the individual, such as Genghis Kahn, Joan of Arc, and Nelson Mandela. We very often focus on what one person can do when we look at the big change makers of the world… but Margaret Mead was right when we move away from stories of individual fame and sacrifice and look at what becomes of the things we do collaboratively, on a small scale, to change our world.

Working alone on something, we miss out on the power of collaboration. We miss out on discovery through conversation, through additive insights and contrasting discourse. Sometimes in learning conversations 1 + 1 > 2. What can be achieved through working with others magnifies what we can accomplish on our own.

Find your tribe and collaborate! Find ways to change your world in the company of people smarter than you, with friends and colleagues who can provide you with insights and inspiration. What we can do as a small group is so much greater than what we can do alone.

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Written the morning after a rich conversation with Remi Kalir. Conversation becomes inspiration!