This weekend my oldest daughter and four of her friends came to stay with us from Vancouver Island. It was a full house. This reminded me of my childhood house in Toronto.

We always had people over. I can remember, on several occasions, bringing an entire waterpolo team to stay at our place. Sleeping bags laid out side-by-side covered most most of the basement floor space. My mom would buy 3 or 4 dozen buns, cold cut meats, and drinking boxes for everyone.

After I left for university, I lost my bedroom to my youngest sister. So summers at home meant sleeping in the basement. By then we had two beds down there and often my sister’s boyfriend would sleep down there in the other bed. There were nights I’d come home after midnight and attempt to go in one bed and someone, one of my sister’s friends, would be in the bed. Then I’d see someone in the other bed, and head up to sleep on the couch. I’d leave the next morning early, not even knowing who used the beds the night before? This seemed normal. We took in house guests like strays… giving them shelter, and feeding them.

Before that, when I was still in elementary and junior high school, I’d come home some days and my friends were already over eating cookies and milk or watching tv in our basement. They would get ‘home’ before me, and make themselves at home. In fact, my mom would leave the front door unlocked and friends wouldn’t even knock. They knew it was an open house, and they would come in and declare their presence, saying ‘hi’ to my mom in the kitchen, our shouting towards the stairs that they were visiting, to let my mom know they were there. Sometimes my mom would just yell back to them to help themselves to a snack, not even coming down the stairs to greet them.

Our house was open, our fridge was open, even the dinner table was open. We were a family of 5 then 6 after my 3rd sister was born when I was 14, but my mom routinely cooked for more… not knowing if one or two of our friends were staying for dinner. We were not wealthy and this was definitely a strain on my parents, but as kids we didn’t have a clue about this, and neither did my or my sister’s friends.

We just knew that the doors were open and our friends are always welcome. While my wife and I certainly weren’t as open as that, it’s also a different time. Still, with our girls now both in their 20’s, they both know our house is their house, and friends are always welcome. I really like that.