I have a bad sleep habit. When I wake up after having a stressful dream, I close my eyes and go right back into it. Despite waking up, relieved that it was just a dream, I close my eyes and somehow permit myself to re-enter the dream state and jump back into the stress.

Unlike lucid dreams, where I feel like I’m in control, I just succumb to the stressful circumstances and let the dream take me over again. This is frustrating.

Today I went back in to a dream where I spent a lot of money on a frivolous purchase of hundreds of dollars on gourmet coffee beans, and was trying to get a refund. A Betty White-like old lady was smiling and acting like she wanted to help me, but wouldn’t give me what I wanted. I woke up thinking how stupid this was, told myself that I was glad it was just a dream. Then I went back into the dream and tried to deal with an Anthony Robbins-like salesman, who was trying to convince me that I still wanted the purchase.

I only do this with stressful dreams, like I’m a glutton for punishment. I wonder what part of my psyche thinks I deserve this? I wonder what I can do to break this pattern? I don’t think of myself as someone that dwells on the negative, but this seems to be a negative behavior that I consistently repeat.

If it was a recurring dream, I’d try to figure out if there was some sort of message in it, but it’s usually a totally different dream, with a topic that wouldn’t actually stress me out nearly as much in my waking state as it does in my dream. The simple message could be ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, but then why do I pop back into the stress? It could be telling me something about stress in my waking state, but I get this dream pattern even when I don’t feel like I’m dealing with a lot of stress in real life. Maybe there’s nothing to figure out, but if that’s the case, then I’d sure like to break this pattern, and reduce the unnecessary stress. I’d much prefer to jump out of the dream when I have the chance… or maybe make it a lucid dream where I have some control. But I’d also just settle for switching over to some sweet dreams!