I was searching for a song on my phone and couldn’t remember the artist. That’s an issue with me, I struggle with proper nouns… not just people’s names, but street names, titles of songs or books, basically any noun that is specific to a person or an item. It’s not a fun thing to struggle with.

I can remember times in my teaching career when I’d look at a kid in my class in June, after seeing the kid every weekday for 10 months, and draw a blank on their name. I know them, I can tell you about their Grandmother’s pet dog’s surgery they told me about back in September. I know exactly who the kid is, but I’m cycling through the alphabet in my head hoping either a first or last name will pop into my brain.

I describe it as when a proper name gets filed away in my head, that file doesn’t get stored with all the other files related to that person or object. My family are used to it, they will try to fill in the gap when I have a long pregnant pause. One example is that we live next to a No Frills grocery store. It has been there for over a decade, and my daughter worked there for about 3 years. But the name will slip my mind and it’s just gone. I can see the sign with the bananas on it in my head but even the words in the sign don’t show up as part of my recall.

The worst is introductions. The closest I ever got to a panic attack was as a VP at a teacher night. My principal said in front of the audience of parents that I would introduce the teachers. This wasn’t part of the plan and I freaked out (on the inside). He and I were both comfortable in front of an audience and he knew that, and didn’t think anything of tossing this my way. But he didn’t know what a challenge this was for me. I was looking at the row of teachers and one name would not come to me. It was painful because I knew this teacher better than most of them. I was wracking my brain for her name from about 3 introductions before hers. As I was introducing the person that was just before her, it clicked and I made it through the list. I begged the principal never to do that to me again and explained how hard it was for me.

My wife knows that, in social situations, if I don’t lead with an introduction, to step in and introduce herself. It usually goes really smoothly because when she does that, I continue on and tell her what the connection is, because I know the person and it’s just the name that’s a blank. And so in this interaction I don’t come off as not knowing the person, instead it just comes off as my wife beating me to the introduction.

I’ve read books about remembering names, and I do all the tricks when I meet someone. And for that first interaction, it’s in my short term memory and I’ll remember the name. But a few days later I’ll draw a blank. The most embarrassing moment is when I forget a name and ask, and it’s David. That’s awful. Can’t even remember their name and it’s my name.

Of all the things that hinder me the most day to day, it’s not names of people but names of streets. Someone will give me directions and throw a name of a common street at me, and the map in my head would not include that street… a street that I might travel on all the time. Google maps helps me out with that though. And giving directions to my own house, I sometimes forget the name of the cross street right in front of my house, and I’ve lived here for 23 years.

I look forward to the time when I’m wearing glasses that will recognize people for me and project their name inside my glasses. Until then, if I blank out on your name, it’s not about you, it’s my issue. I know who you are, I just filed your name in the wrong place.

Oh, and that musical artist I was looking for, it was Tori Amos. I didn’t end up remembering myself, I described what I was looking for and my wife told me her name.

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