It’s after 11pm and the house is silent. Everyone is in bed but me. I like the silence of this time of day, or rather night. The air is still outside and I just heard the train that I only ever hear from our house when it’s late and quiet. But recently my tinnitus is so loud that it interrupts the silence.
I have kind of forgotten what it’s really like to have a silent night. Instead I hear a loud and constant tone. During the day I can ignore it, but the quiet of solitude is gone. In it’s place is a constant high pitched stream of relentless sound.
It’s not painful, and in most cases it isn’t even annoying. But at this time of night, the time that I enjoy being alone and in silence, this is the time it can get to me. I miss the silence of solitude when no sound interfered with the evening. I miss the quiet.