Yesterday’s post on ‘What does it mean to be conscious‘ was an exercise in thinking for me. I’ve been watching lectures and trying to formulate ideas around consciousness and free will, but my ideas are not fully formed.

Writing allows me to think ‘out loud’ in a way that would be difficult otherwise. I can change my mind as I go, rework ideas, and try to ask and answer questions that would not arise had I not taken the time to share my written thoughts.

However when I look back on yesterday’s post, I see a rough draft, not a final copy. I see the need to expand on some ideas and to clarify others. But I took advantage of a lazy Sunday and spent hours writing. I can’t keep that up. I have to accept that if I’m writing to help me think, and choosing to share this daily, then at times my writing will need to go out in draft form.

If I didn’t do this, then I’d need more daily time than I can give to my writing, or I will have to choose not to publish on some days. I prefer to keep going and accept that sometimes my writing will just be an expression of my thoughts ‘out loud’, and not my final thoughts on a topic.

I’m close to 6 months into writing daily, and I’m now at a point where I will read an old post and won’t remember exactly what I wrote or why I wrote it? Reflecting on my less-remembered work, I can really look at the quality of my writing and recognize areas of strength and weakness… that I’m not able to see when I’m in the process of writing as thinking. After I’ve written something, I think I need a little time before I can meaningfully digest, reflect, and learn further from my own writing. I’ll have to revisit yesterday’s post in the new year. For now, I’ll just need to leave it in draft form.