Have you ever sent an email that was misinterpreted to be much more harsh than you intended? Have you ever missed sarcasm when it is written rather than said? Have you ever received an email that had a tone you didn’t appreciate?

Sometimes it’s not just the tone, sometimes it’s the content itself. My online teachers will sometimes get emails from students and parents that say things that would never be said to their faces. This almost always happens before there is any face-to-face or voice connection. It’s like talking through a digital screen gives people the permission to be less thoughtful. It can happen the other way too… a teacher can respond negatively to the tone they ‘hear’ in an email, and their response can be harsh in return.

Our voice has intonation that text can lack, or exaggerate, with less clarity of intent. When there is misunderstanding the easiest way to lower the tension is to move the conversation off of text. My oldest daughter did this recently. She lives in a basement suite and was having an issue with the upstairs tenant. The text exchange wasn’t going well, so m rather than continuing to text, she knocked on their door and had a conversation… it went well, when a continuation of texting would not have.

Sometimes the best response to a text message that you don’t like is not another text message. Use voice, and let the other person hear your intonation… and/or model the communication you hope to receive.