I call it the best book I never read. It’s called Bowling Alone and the premise is that we used to have communities that tied us together, church groups, book clubs, and bowling leagues, but now we don’t participate in these communities so everyone bowls alone. This is a fascinating idea, it seems very relevant, but the book itself reads like a boring textbook and I put it down once I got the premise.

I think this is why dating apps have done so well. If you are young and single, and don’t meet someone you are interested in at work or school, you are essentially bowling alone.

But I think the disconnect goes beyond dating and meeting a partner. I think there are too few opportunities beyond the work week to feel connected to friends. Connecting isn’t usual, it’s reserved for special events. Remember in the pre-cellphone era when people would quite literally ‘drop by’ because they were in the neighbourhood? When is the last time that happened?

Now, meeting for coffee is something planned a week in advance. A dinner? Let me check my calendar… How’s the 15th sound, does that work for you? No? Ok, the 22nd then?

It’s interesting that while technology has in many ways brought us together, we’ve slowly moved apart. I live far away from my family, and many of my friends. I don’t pick up my phone and call them nearly enough. I plan opportunities to connect far in advance. I don’t bowl, and yet I bowl alone.