Here is a great quote by Ben Horowitz on the Tim Ferris Podcast:

“One of the most important kind of leadership skills:

…If you make decisions that everybody likes all the time, then those are the decisions that they would make without you. So, you are not actually adding any value… Almost by definition a lot of the most important decisions end up being ones that people don’t agree with, don’t like, and are difficult, and cause people not to like you, at least for a while.”

I’ve shared before that “As a leader if we don’t have relationships where we can go to the hard places, then we aren’t being the best leaders we can be.” The Horowitz quote adds a whole other element to this. We really are not being leaders if we are only making decisions that would happen without us. If that’s not what we are doing, then we will obviously be making decisions that not everyone will approve of. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we don’t try to create a common vision, and it doesn’t excuse us from treating everyone as team members who can contribute to that vision… but sometimes we need to make hard, unpopular decisions.

Something that I can critique myself on, and that others might be able to empathize with, is that sometimes I delay those hard, uncomfortable conversations or redirections for too long. I spend too much time trying to get everyone on board with a new idea, or I walk on eggshells leading up to the shift. One thing we do need to recognize is that sometimes our decisions can affect others far more than they affect us, and so the readiness for change is not always evenly distributed. Resistance can come from unexpected places, and ripple in unforeseen ways. This isn’t always because of poor leadership or communication, but rather something we need to respond to after making tough leadership decisions.

Change is hard to lead. These 3 images (and the accompanying blog post) examine the challenges of embracing change, resisting change, and also inspiring change.

But as Ben points out, even when we work hard to inspire change, sometimes we have to make unpopular decisions, ones that not everyone will agree with. At that point, you aren’t going to win a popularity contest, and you aren’t necessarily going to be inspiring. But it is in these moments that you’ve got to decide if it is more important to go to the hard places of making such decisions, or if you would rather do something that could be done without you there as a leader?

I think truly great leaders define themselves when they are making tough leadership decisions, rather than when they are making popular decisions. Although when it is you that has to make those decisions, it doesn’t feel always feel great. Ben continues in the podcast to describe this feeling as ‘running towards the darkness’. When you are making tough, unpopular decisions you can feel alone and uncertain, but that’s probably better for your organization than yielding to decisions that are easier to make, but less likely to have a favourable outcome.