Tag Archives: positive thinking

Finding the good in people and in situations

I like to think of myself as an optimistic person. In my job I deal with a lot of students, teachers, parents, and principals. I start these interactions with a simple premise: ‘these are good people, look for the good in them’. When someone is upset, they don’t tend to express that upset well. That’s not a measure of their character, it’s usually circumstantial.

Yes, there are some angry people in the world, but most people are good. Some are more selfish (both knowingly and unknowingly); some are more single minded about certain issues; some feel like there are injustices against them (and some of these are well justified, while others aren’t).

But coming back to people being inherently good, and my usual disposition towards others, I think that I’ve been in a bit of a rut for a while. I know where it comes from, I’ve thought about this a lot. I was stuck in a spot where I was running three schools and always felt like I was letting two of the down, if not all three. I was exhausted. Two years in, I felt like I didn’t want to continue. Then in February I was given a few different responsibilities and one school was taken away from me. It was a sigh of relief. I thought, not only can I do this, but I want to do this (again). Then the pandemic hit and my responsibilities escalated again!

Last week was a bit of a crescendo. On top of my own duties I had to spend a good eight hours on something that fell on my lap. I found myself complaining in front of a teacher and stopped myself. I called a good friend and ranted. Then I asked someone to get me some work to do before Friday when I had support. That work arrived Saturday. It’s done now, and I’ve put in proper supports going forward. But that same good friend checked in on me and I ranted again.Admittedly, ranting to someone in confidence did make me feel better. But it also made me think, why is that now a thing I need to do?

The ‘thing that fell on my lap’, well if I look at it from the outside, my lap made the most sense, and part of the time I had offered up. The ‘work to get to me before Friday’, well the person who asked for it on Saturday is doing his best in a new environment.

These things always happen. The difference that has me upset isn’t about them, it’s about me… and I have the power to change that! Maybe that’s the only thing I can change. I can manifest anger and upset, or I can recognize that people all around me are doing the best they can with the skills they have. I need to reflect on who else I can empower to do some of the things I do. I need to contemplate what I can and should say ‘no’ to. I need to find ways to frame things so that I don’t need to vent as often as I have recently.

It’s not what happens, it’s what you do that makes a difference.

Fit, not fit for 52

I’m not behind where I should be or need to be. I don’t have someone I should be comparing myself to, other then me yesterday and me before that.

I don’t need to feel behind, feel I’m not where I should be, feel I’ll never be fit enough.

I’m fit, not just fit for 52.

I need to feel that I’m committed to getting better. I need to feel that incremental improvements are not just good enough, they are my goal. I need to feel good about where I am now, and where I’m going.

I don’t have a marathon to run, I’m not getting on a court, a playing field, and I’m definitely not entering a ring. I am taking care of a back that aches daily, and needs me to stay limber. I am working on my recovery from a knee injury. I am becoming stronger, fitter, and I’m working on my core to help me age gracefully. I am snacking less, eating more healthy, and taking vitamin supplements that my body needs.

It’s important to have goals. It’s important to care for my future self. But it’s important not to be too hard on my current self about all the ways I could and should be in a better place than I am now.

I don’t need my age, my current abilities and deficits, or somebody else’s progress compared to me to change how I feel about myself right now.

Putting unrealistic expectations on myself doesn’t make the journey enjoyable. I’m fit today. I plan to stay fit. But if I’m realistic I also need to recognize that the fittest me at 72 won’t be as fit as I am now at 52. So while taking care of myself and making small improvements is my current goal, maintainance and healthy living is the ultimate target.

Yes, age is just a construct, but aging is inevitable. The alternative really sucks. Think about it, we aren’t on a journey to any finish line, it’s the journey itself that matters.

Look up

It’s a long weekend, and I’m thankful for the extra day. As I summarized in a Twitter reply to someone yesterday, “On the ‘blah’ scale of 1-10, I’ve been a solid 9 all weekend.“. I ended the day yesterday passed out on the couch with my workout clothes on, and no workout started.

I feel cooped up, motivation is low, and I have had no desire to work, watch TV, listen to my book, exercise, or do a host of things that I’ve put on my home ‘to do’ list.

But today is a new day. The sun is shining. I slept well, I’ve watered the new grass, I’m writing, I’m looking forward to my meditation. I know that my workout will be hard enough to remove the guilt of not working out yesterday. I’ll go for a walk, I’ll knock a couple items off of my to do list, and I have a conversation on Zoom tonight with my grads and their parents that I’m looking forward to.

Sometimes we just need to look up… in more ways than one.

Thinking about positive thinking

I’ve been thinking a lot about thinking today. I recalled my sister telling me about a Japanese Scientist who froze either pure or distilled water drops to examine the ice crystals… except that first he treated the water in a special way. He would ‘apply’ thoughts, and words, to the water containers first: things like ‘joy’ and ‘happiness’ or ‘sorry’ and ‘anger’. The results were remarkable! Beautiful patterns with positive thoughts & words, and patternless, blocks or ‘broken’ patterns with negative thoughts & words.

It makes me wonder about all this talk I hear about broken schools and our ‘failure’ to prepare our students for the future?

It makes me wonder about all the negative self-talk our media perpetuates… We aren’t pretty enough, we are too fat, we look too old, we aren’t rich enough, we can buy happiness, our future is bleak!

How much of this is real, and how much of it is unintentionally willed by our own (weak?) thoughts?

If we could accumulate a day’s worth of thoughts and place that on a frozen water sample, what shapes would we get? Beautiful patterns or broken formations?

What if we did this for our family, community, city, nation or world?

I know what it would look like for every newspaper & news media stream that exists, and find this disturbing… a reason why I avoid the news altogether!

There are some amazing things happening in this world. Kindness, generosity and love can be powerful and potent catalysts in changing what our daily thoughts accumulate to.

At the end of today, think of what the crystallized accumulation of your daily thoughts would look like. If you see something beautiful, congratulate yourself! If you see something less than beautiful, know that you have the power to change that, and also know that begins with acceptance, not blame… with forgiveness, not anger… with love, not self-loathing.

Gandhi was right, we really do need to be the change we want to see in this world. And that starts with our thoughts that drive us.

Think good thoughts,
Say good words,
Do good deeds.